It's not what I do, Lord, it's YOU

This is going to sound crazy but some of the best thoughts I have happen when I am running or in the shower. It was in the shower AFTER my run today that I began thinking about my job and the career in graphic design that I have chosen.

I'm at a place in my life (37, married for 11 years, with 3 small children) and in my faith that I feel like I can be honest with myself and where I'm at. I remember in high school being so wrapped up in my identity as a football player. I had the luck to play on the varsity team starting in my sophomore year. I loved the sport. I loved every minute of it. I loved that people thought of me as an athlete and a nice guy. I loved wearing my jersey on Fridays before the game. I even loved the black and blue marks and sore muscles the day after the game.

But looking back now, I realize how much I let that talent, that athletic ability define me. I told myself things like "you might not be very good at basketball or playing piano or doing math but you are one of the best at football." As I graduated and got older I let other roles define me too much. Matt the fraternity guy. Matt the exchange student. Matt the graphic designer. Matt the nice guy. Matt the rock climber. Matt the hiker. Matt the father... the son... the brother... the husband... the coworker... the... and the list goes on.

But slowly, God has been revealing to me the utter uselessness of all that stuff. And that's what it is, just stuff. Empty titles that define us in some narrow way. Yes, we all wear different hats and play different roles. And that's NOT bad. It's when I let those hats and roles define who I am that my problems seem to occur. I forget WHOSE I am and therefore WHO I am.

Have I mastered this shedding of roles, these boxes people (and I) put me in, these labels they put on me? No. But I am getting better at identifying them for what they are and trying my best to keep them in balance with who DOES define me—Jesus Christ and the new creation I am becoming as I live and find my being in Him. Afterall, He's not impressed with many of my accomplishments here on earth. Only what I do for Him and others really matters in the 60 or 70 years (Lord willing) I may have here.

So, these were my thoughts in the shower this morning. I will never be the best anything here on earth. There will always be someone who is better than me at something. And I'm ok with that. Slowly, surely I am being transformed. Into His perfect image. And though it sometimes feels like two steps forward one step back I'm still heading in the right direction. And I love the view from here.

A few milestones for Grace . . . bikes & sheep

I'm sitting here typing this post on my laptop while sipping some coffee in our timeshare condo in Fraser, Colorado. I'm watching the kids scurry around. All 5 of them—our 3 and my sister Michelle's 2. The kids are having a great time. Sam (3) and Gavin (6) are playing "swords" with some sticks they found behind the building and are just now transitioning into filling up water balloons. They run through the condo brandishing their sticks at one another and swiping and poking them at each other just missing by mere inches much to the fear of the adults. So far no eyes or limbs have been lost. So far.

As I sit here thinking and typing my thoughts are of my daughter Grace (5). She is my beautiful baby girl. But I am beginning to notice she is not so baby like anymore. She came out of the bedroom this morning after breakfast having totally dressed herself—a mismatching though colorful arrangement if I've ever seen one). She also enthusiastically helped me crack the eggs for breakfast. I fished out a few shell chips but she did remarkably well. I am so proud of her. These past few days have furthered my worst fears that she is really growing up.

We brought the kids bikes up this week and before we left I took her training wheels off. She passionately asked me yesterday if I would help her learn how to ride her bike. I reluctantly worked up the energy enough to slip on my shoes and get ready to run behind my daughter, preparing to catch her at every wrong turn. She put her helmet on, hopped on her bike and with a release of my steadying hand she was off! And immediately sharply overcorrected and ended up in a tangled mess of metal and skin on the ground. After a hardy slap on the back and some reassuring she was off again with renewed determination. And then... something wonderful happened. She was riding—BY HERSELF! Yes, wobbly, yes, shaky but riding by herself. All the way as I was running after her she was yelling, "Daddy, don't let go of me!"

And at that very moment I realized that in a small way, almost imperceptibly, I was letting go. Before my very eyes I had witnessed her grow up and rely on herself a little more and on me a little less. I must say it was thrilling and strangely sad at the same time. I am getting teary-eyed just thinking about it right now. What is it in me that wants my kids to grow up but at the same time doesn't want to see it actually happen or not as fast as it sometimes seems to?

As if learning to ride her bike was not enough, last night Grace (and Sam) also went Mutton Bustin' last night at the Fraser Rodeo. What is Mutton Bustin'? You throw a scared stiff 40 lb. kid on the back of an equally scared 75 lb. sheep in front of a large crowd under white hot arena lights and then give the sheep a healthy smack on the butt. What happens? Well, usually the kid flies off in 2.3 seconds and ends in a cloud of dust as the sheep runs for his life.

And that is pretty much what happened to Sam and Grace. Grace a little better, Sam a little worse. I was hoping Katie would hide the inevitable from the kids until the very last moment but, no, she decided to lift them up each in turn and show them a sneak preview of what was to come. Each sobered up watching kid after cling for dear life only to be jettisioned from the sheep like a leaf in a stiff breeze and stand up with tears and a mouth full of dirt as the crowd applauded.

This was it, Grace was up. The announcer called her name, 2 tough cowboys placed her on the back of the sheep and off she went. The crowd roared, the sheep bucked... Grace was tossed like a rag doll. She jumped to her feet unsure wether she should cry or laugh and headed towards the lady holding her ribbon. She had done it. She had conquered the sheep and her fears with all the courage a 5 year-old could muster. I was so proud of her and gave her a huge hug.

Sam asked Jesus into his heart today!

Sam surprised Katie in the minivan today by saying a quick prayer. "Jesus, come into my heart. And I want a puppy and to go to Santa's North Pole" (a local amusement park for kids). Katie had asked him right before if he had ever accepted Jesus into his heart and he got a bit quiet and then made his response. My heart is so happy to know that the Lord is working on Sam's heart. The faith of children is so simple and pure. I have a lot to learn about that. I'm sure Sam will accept Jesus into his heart many more times in coming years but it just thrilled Katie and I to hear him speak those words.

Lord, seal this promise in Sam's heart and mind. Let him always trust in you with a simple faith and place his trust solely in you. Thank you Lord. Amen.

Kids grow up so fast!

I have heard it said a million times by a million different people... "kids grow up so fast."  I guess that is true. Some days I wish they would grow up a little faster... especially on the whinny days and when I hear my son screaming, "MOM... WIPE ME" from the bathroom. But as each day goes on and I see them grow I wish I could freeze time. I tell Grace that she needs to stop growing up so fast. She lost her 4th tooth recently. She has that adorable gap in her mouth when she smiles. She will be going to Kindergarten this year and Sam will be off to preschool.  Seems so crazy to me that Nathan will be 1 in just a few more days. He has a cute little smile too... with one top tooth and two bottoms teeth. He is a delight. They really do grow up fast and I am realizing more than ever that I need to savor all the moments no matter how small. I also need to blog more and post some of their cute pictures. I will try to do that soon. I am so blessed.

Nathan's Dedication

It's been a while. A LONG while. I've been so bad. I could make excuses like, "I post my life to Facebook so why should I maintain a blog?", but that just wouldn't do. Because the things I write about here are usually a little deeper than "Matt is eating cereal for breakfast" status updates. I want to write a quick note about my boy Nathan today. We dedicated him before our church a few weeks back, surrounded by family and friends. It was a very neat experience and blessing. We had prepared a scripture to be prayed over him ahead of time. It was this: I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." And he worshiped the LORD there. 1 Samuel 1:27-28. While the pastor was praying over Nathan, Katie lifted him up high towards God in heaven and for the congregation to see and the funniest thing happened. He looked up towards the bright stage lights in the ceiling and started to smile and started to wave. The whole congregation got a good laugh. It might have just been the lights he liked, or the attention, but I kinda like to think he saw angels all around him.

Nathan, my boy, I love you so very much. You are a blessing from the LORD and you bring so much joy to your mother and I. We dedicate you to the LORD, for HIS service, all the days of your life.

Family Christmas letter 2008

Sam, age 3

The DeCoste Family

Grace's Kindergarten pic, age 5

Nathan, age 5 mos

Dear family & friends,

I always love the opportunity I have at this time of year to slow down and reflect on God’s grace and goodness to our family and to watch His mighty hand at work that shapes the ins and outs of our daily lives. I never cease to be amazed at the sheer abundance of divine protection and joy He brings to our lives.

This year was another year of firsts in many ways. In last year’s Christmas letter we shared the joyful news of an expected new arrival in our home. He decided to greet us early on a sunny Monday in June, on the 23rd to be exact. Nathan Paul weighed 9 lb 2 oz and is a most happy little boy. He’s been learning to roll over, eat rice cereal and get used to a bottle (so Katie can get some much needed time away.) He’s always smiling. Grace was a bit reluctant at first with the idea of ANOTHER brother but it seems one of her favorite past times of late is coaxing giggles out of Nathan.

In May, Grace (age 5) “graduated” from her 2-day-a-week preschool. Grace absolutely LOVES going to class and has made many new friends in her new school where she is attending kindergarten. She had several lines to speak in a Thanksgiving play as well as many group songs and I think the whole family had them memorized after weeks of practice. She has proclaimed that she wants to be an artist just like daddy and can most often be found coloring pictures with crayons. We are running out of room on the fridge and wondering if we need to save them ALL.

Sam (age 3) is “all boy” as the saying goes. Daddy is immediately greeted at the door each night after work to “play lion” which involves a lot of rolling around on the ground and wrestling while making growling sounds. Something I am very good at anyhow. Sam has a very active imagination and is fond of climbing up things and then jumping off of them. We were ecstatic early this year when Sam finally got the hang of the “potty.” He also loves to “play” with his baby brother which we keep a close eye on!

Katie (who turned 30 this year) seems to me an amazing whirlwind of activity, energy, beauty and grace. We are extremely blessed to be able to have Katie stay at home and care for the children which she thoroughly enjoys (most days). She keeps busy taking aerobics classes at the gym, hanging out with friends, attending a woman’s Bible study, and in general keeping all of us clothed, fed and happy. Oh how I love that woman!

Matt had an eventful year in 2008 as well—welcomed a new son, celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary on 10/10/2008 with a 21 hr. trip to OH/KY in a minivan with three kids, saw a mountain lion and had his car broken into on the same day, narrowly survived an incredible ordeal on the river with his brothers, and climbed a couple 14,000 ft. peaks.

We love all of you dearly and thank God for placing each of you in our lives. We hope that this letter finds you and yours doing well. Have a very, very Merry Christmas as you spend time with family celebrating the birth of our dear Lord and Savior. d

With much love,
Matt, Katie, Grace, Sam and Nathan


katiedecoste@hotmail.com
mattdecoste@hotmail.com

My Bros

My brothers Marc and Dave are truly the best. I have so many great memories of hanging out with my bros and I am fortunate that they both live in town with me here in Colorado Springs.

My brother Marc turned 38 this year. Truly shocking! I still have vivid memories of sharing our birthday cake at age 5 and 7 because our birthdays were only 3 days apart—mine the 15th of September and his the 18th. It bugged me as a kid not getting my own cake (obviously) but I love it now. And as a parent now with 2 of my own kids with birthdays 3 days apart, I am doing exactly the same thing to them—a shared cake. I mean c'mon. How much cake can you possibly eat in 3 days.

But getting back to my bros, I feel quite lucky. My brother David and I both work at the same place so we get to see each other almost everyday. And often I can be found showing Dave the finer points of the game of table tennis—better known as ping pong to most—and his game is coming along nicely. I even let him win on occasion. 

My brothers are alike in the ways that count—religious beliefs, integrity, honesty, devotion to family—and so very different in the ways that matter less.

David is a Systems Administrator and probably the smartest guy in the family. He is definitely type A, a bit of a neat freak, and a Beautiful Mind if you've seen the movie. He can be forgetful of the small stuff—keys, phone, wallet, time—because he is always thinking about the big stuff—what to get his wife for Christmas, how to get that extra 3% speed out of his laptop and at least 3 or 4 other things. He is a technician and a methodical thinker.

Marc is a tile-setter, a real estate investor, and a alternative fuels expert. His mind is always on the go. He's an artist of sorts. His latest thing is harnessing the power of the sun using homemade Fernelli's lenses to burn stuff. He is a BIG IDEA guy and occasionally forgets to follow through on the 20 new projects he has started THIS WEEK!! I hear he wants to test for the border patrol or the fire department this week. A real renaissance kind of guy.

And then there is me. A bit of both of them, different in my own way but very alike in so many ways. I'm so thankful my parents didn't stop after 2 or even 4. Nope, 5! 3 boys and 2 girls!

So here's to you bros! You make my life so rich and fun! So when are we hangin' out next?

Love,

Your bro Matt

Goofin'

At my cousin's wedding sometime in the 90's

30 feet underground in the "Ice Caves" in Palmer Park, CO

Setting flag stone in Dave's backyard

High above 11-Mile Reservoir during camp trip in 2008

Playin' a little air guitar on the racquetball court in Winter Park, CO

With the kids in Ouray, CO

Matt, Marc, and Dave